Top ten things i am not happy to have:
10. Toe nails
9. a picture of me with Michael Buble (coz every time someone sees it i feel compelled to give
an explanation)
8. "year of the pig" tikoy(sticky rice cake) in the fridge
7. a David Caradine Tai chi work out video
6. a left foot one size bigger that my right foot
5. siblings
4. irresistable good looks
3. weak bladder
2. rusty barbeque grill
1. mother in law
Palos(we have given him the name because he seems to be a big fan of Jake Cuenca), my gender-confused canine, is practically useless as a guard dog. He doesnt even bother to lift up his head from his slumber whenever a stranger is within the vicinity. When asked why we keep him on a leash, our official statement is that the dog is so ferocious that it will lunge at anyone on site. But the real reason is he poops all over the place and pees on all things metal. That's why when we give directions to the pizza guy we just tell him to look for the half-green, half-brown(rusted) gate. The only reason why Palos doesnt end up on our next door neighbor's plate(yes, they love to eat dogs....and cats too) is that he barks on my mother in law whenever she pays us a visit. At least i get a warning so i can pack the essentials and head for the hills.
I am happiest on Thursday nights because Friday is my day-off and the best way to relax after a week of work is to watch the evening news. While a reporter was giving details on how a drunken motorcyclist's brains made the pavement more colorful, i heard the high pitched whiny bark. I suddenly felt envious of my fellow rider who's already in a better place than i was. Half way through the three-hour supper(suffer), my mother in law declared that she will spend the night. As a learned defense mechanism, my mind traveled back to my happy childhood memories to buffer the impact of the terrible, terrible news. By six a.m. the next morning i was already warming up my xrm 125, quite eager to give my wife a ride to the office. After the drop off i was faced with the same question i asked myself when i first held my college diploma, "now what?". I would have been contented to go home and take my daughter for a scooter(ultima whistler 150) ride around the park but what lurked within our guest room kept me from shifting my bike into gear. Again my defense mechanism kicked in and my mind was transported to my childhood days in Batangas. Before i knew it i was already in C5 nearing Bicutan. I made a short stop over in the east service road just before Sucat to get a closer look of my wife's billboard of Nuture Spa in Tagaytay. She is a Psychologist by profession, a spa enthusiast by obession, and a billboard model by coercion. The ride from Alabang to Calamba would have been an ordeal if not for the busty Laguna ladies criss-crossing the congested road. Long stretches in Sto. Tomas and Malvar permitted 100 kph but the zigzag road in San Jose forced a slowdown. Upon reaching Batangas City i went strait to Kipsi Elementary School where my aunt runs a small canteen. As far as i know, it is the only Chinese school in the city and it is also where three generations of the chinese community in Batangas attended primary school. Consequently, a temple was erected within the school compound so businessmen will have a place to negotiate with all sorts of entities to attain peace, potency and profit. Still in my riding gear, i approached Aunt Fe while she was counting money in her cash box. "Anong ulam?"(what's for lunch?) was met by a stern look and a hand in her belt bag(probably reaching for a pepper spray). Only when i took off my helmet did she answered "chicken afritada and chopsuey" with a smile that made her face evident of seven decades of hard work. To promote blood flow to my butt area, i decided to walk around first to take some pictures. Since the trip was unplanned, i only have my camera phone with me. I took pictures quickly, hoping that no one will recognize me because i was known to be the only dumb kid that came out of the Chao klan. To my dismay, one of my old teachers came up to me and said "hey, you're the kid who couldnt hold it in until recess". The thing with school teachers and elephants is that they have good memory. She mentioned "recess" with a whistle. I noticed that she still wears the same hair do and probably the same dentures as well. Instead of "hey, you're the teacher who needs both hands to brush her teeth", my reply was "hi ma'am, nice to see you again". While i was enjoying my lunch with my full set of teeth, the heavens darkened and it rained hard soon after. By the time i was washing down my meal with a soda the sky already cleared up. I loosened my belt, warmed up my bike then rode off hoping that the dark cloud which hovered at home had already passed.
10. Toe nails
9. a picture of me with Michael Buble (coz every time someone sees it i feel compelled to give
an explanation)
8. "year of the pig" tikoy(sticky rice cake) in the fridge
7. a David Caradine Tai chi work out video
6. a left foot one size bigger that my right foot
5. siblings
4. irresistable good looks
3. weak bladder
2. rusty barbeque grill
1. mother in law
Palos(we have given him the name because he seems to be a big fan of Jake Cuenca), my gender-confused canine, is practically useless as a guard dog. He doesnt even bother to lift up his head from his slumber whenever a stranger is within the vicinity. When asked why we keep him on a leash, our official statement is that the dog is so ferocious that it will lunge at anyone on site. But the real reason is he poops all over the place and pees on all things metal. That's why when we give directions to the pizza guy we just tell him to look for the half-green, half-brown(rusted) gate. The only reason why Palos doesnt end up on our next door neighbor's plate(yes, they love to eat dogs....and cats too) is that he barks on my mother in law whenever she pays us a visit. At least i get a warning so i can pack the essentials and head for the hills.
I am happiest on Thursday nights because Friday is my day-off and the best way to relax after a week of work is to watch the evening news. While a reporter was giving details on how a drunken motorcyclist's brains made the pavement more colorful, i heard the high pitched whiny bark. I suddenly felt envious of my fellow rider who's already in a better place than i was. Half way through the three-hour supper(suffer), my mother in law declared that she will spend the night. As a learned defense mechanism, my mind traveled back to my happy childhood memories to buffer the impact of the terrible, terrible news. By six a.m. the next morning i was already warming up my xrm 125, quite eager to give my wife a ride to the office. After the drop off i was faced with the same question i asked myself when i first held my college diploma, "now what?". I would have been contented to go home and take my daughter for a scooter(ultima whistler 150) ride around the park but what lurked within our guest room kept me from shifting my bike into gear. Again my defense mechanism kicked in and my mind was transported to my childhood days in Batangas. Before i knew it i was already in C5 nearing Bicutan. I made a short stop over in the east service road just before Sucat to get a closer look of my wife's billboard of Nuture Spa in Tagaytay. She is a Psychologist by profession, a spa enthusiast by obession, and a billboard model by coercion. The ride from Alabang to Calamba would have been an ordeal if not for the busty Laguna ladies criss-crossing the congested road. Long stretches in Sto. Tomas and Malvar permitted 100 kph but the zigzag road in San Jose forced a slowdown. Upon reaching Batangas City i went strait to Kipsi Elementary School where my aunt runs a small canteen. As far as i know, it is the only Chinese school in the city and it is also where three generations of the chinese community in Batangas attended primary school. Consequently, a temple was erected within the school compound so businessmen will have a place to negotiate with all sorts of entities to attain peace, potency and profit. Still in my riding gear, i approached Aunt Fe while she was counting money in her cash box. "Anong ulam?"(what's for lunch?) was met by a stern look and a hand in her belt bag(probably reaching for a pepper spray). Only when i took off my helmet did she answered "chicken afritada and chopsuey" with a smile that made her face evident of seven decades of hard work. To promote blood flow to my butt area, i decided to walk around first to take some pictures. Since the trip was unplanned, i only have my camera phone with me. I took pictures quickly, hoping that no one will recognize me because i was known to be the only dumb kid that came out of the Chao klan. To my dismay, one of my old teachers came up to me and said "hey, you're the kid who couldnt hold it in until recess". The thing with school teachers and elephants is that they have good memory. She mentioned "recess" with a whistle. I noticed that she still wears the same hair do and probably the same dentures as well. Instead of "hey, you're the teacher who needs both hands to brush her teeth", my reply was "hi ma'am, nice to see you again". While i was enjoying my lunch with my full set of teeth, the heavens darkened and it rained hard soon after. By the time i was washing down my meal with a soda the sky already cleared up. I loosened my belt, warmed up my bike then rode off hoping that the dark cloud which hovered at home had already passed.
1 comment:
......We share this top ten list from number 6 down to number 1 (except for number 2).
"6. a left foot one size bigger that my right foot
5. siblings
4. irresistable good looks
3. weak bladder
2. rusty barbeque grill
1. mother in law"
......I think numbers 3 to 6 runs in the family.
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