The Prodigal Scoot

Like most two-wheel enthusiasts, i first learned to ride on a scooter. It was my cousin's Honda dio 50cc two stroker. In those days, you can only ride an underbone if you're: a. Mikee Cojuangco b. wearing a turban. I was responsible for retiring two reliable workhorses, Yamaha Target 90cc and Hyosung EZ 100, before i got myself tangled in the corporate mess. It wasn't appropriate to ride a motorbike in your business attire....or so i thought.

Having a career(yeah, right!) and starting a family needed private transportation. My first few months as a cager were such an ordeal because my cognitive abilities weren't meant for three wheels and above. After a while i was able to drive like a human being but gas price hikes, terrible traffic conditions, ridiculous parking fees and early mid-life crisis prompted me to become what others call a re-entry rider. Naturally, a scooter was the top of mind and i opted for for a higher displacement(150cc) to compensate for the lack of "oomph" that four strokers now offer. Sure, many scooter brands in the market today have 150cc variants but most have already evolved the nature of scoot riding from utility to sporty. Thus, having tiny(or none at all) floor boards. I needed a large floor space to accommodate my laptop bag and my (ahem!) size 11 feet.

And so i went for design and comfort rather than reliability and quality. Now, my 8 month old Ultima Whistler 150cc scoot idles like an 8 year old. It consumes gas like there's a leak(maybe there is) in the fuel system. It consumes flyballs as well(i'm on my 4th set now). You can run it to 80kph if you're lucky and riding it in the rain will give you all sorts of problems. I guess that's how it is if you patronage china made products. Cant blame the guys in the assembly line though. Its difficult to do a good job when your supervisor motivates you with a whip. Atleast i get enough acceleration to overtake smoke belching jeepneys. Because it is heavier that your average pantra (including the side car), it's quite stable at high speeds. It holds it place even when a ten-wheeler passes you by. Spare parts are also cheap and are available everywhere. But servicing should only be done by the dealer's mechanic. I brought it to a different mechanic once and he just gave me a can of gasoline and some matches.

YBR 125G Luzon Tour

I'm not much of a joiner. I prefer doing things through my own means, at my own pace. I shy away from clubs and organizations because camaraderie and compromise don't sit well with me. I ride alone. But the lure of Yamaha freebies and Yamaha girls made me forget about my "lone wolf" image aspirations.

The call came on a Tuesday morning while i was cursing at the universe for not making my coffee cool down quickly enough. Maye of YMPH was on the line and she asked me if i would like to join the YBR Luzon tour the coming weekend. I was confused momentarily because i knew that the Luzon tour was supposed to be held three weeks prior to her call. After she told me all about the activities, the freebies and the accommodations, she explained that they had to reschedule the original date of the Luzon tour because of bad weather. Woohoo! I thanked my lucky stars for the second chance. The initial date for the tour coincided with an out of country family trip and i recall expressing my regrets to one of her colleagues for not being able to join. I was in a good mood in the days that followed that even my back-stabbing co-workers couldn't dampen my spirits. The weekend came and i registered early in the Yamaha Ortigas office. I received a cute YBR t-shirt, a cool jacket, a jolly hot dog meal pack and a number sticker. Of all the numbers from 1 to 60, i had to be given the number 13. Good thing i wasn't superstitious. After a quick orientation we geared up and hopped on our ybie's. The police escort in-charge gave us two simple rules to follow while on convoy, no overtaking and follow the number sequence. Sadly, almost no one complied. It was like riding with juveniles on ubones. The ride to Lake Caliraya resort was enjoyable nonetheless. We took Marilaque and upon entering Laguna, our police escorts signaled us to get off the road and take a right into the bushes. We were immediately faced with an upward slope two stories high (i might be exaggerating). What i thought was going to be another bladder break turned out to be a detour. We entered a real dirt road with all the rocky and muddy surfaces. The YBR 125G can really claim the title "poor man's adventure bike" because it can traverse any type road while your gas meter stays in "F". I was greatly impressed with my bike's power delivery(as long as you stay under 2nd gear) and handling. This noob was able to enjoy riding through the bumpy path (it would have been more enjoyable if i had the good sense of wearing tighter underwear that day) without a single spill. I wish i could say the same for one of our police escorts.

At the venue, riders were greeted by welcome banners and streamers while our beloved ybies were attended by an army of Yamaha mechanics. Before take off we filled our tanks to the brim courtesy of YMPH and when we reached our destination, everybody was surprised to receive free oil change(including Yamalube). Everybody enjoyed the resort's food, accommodations and facilities by just uttering the simple magic words; "charge to Yamaha". Some friendly games and more freebies followed that day. I had a hard time sleeping though. One of my roomies has an open pipe for an esophagus. I was telling my wife about how big a free loader i was the next day when she asked me; "how was the Yamaha girls?" Damn....

Bikers in Belgium

If there's one down side in riding motorcycles in this country, it would be the stereo-types you have to put up with. If you ride a Chopper, people will think that you're a satanist while riding a Cruiser makes you a D.O.M. Ride a Moped or an Underbone and you will be branded as unemployed (especially when you ride wearing shorts and slippers while having a pillion in SM saleslady uniform), or worse, involved in the micro-financing business(5-6). Riding a Dual-Purpose bike will give you hassles in check points because the police will suspect you as a gun for hire. Riding a BIG and FAST Sportbike means you're actually compensating for something SMALL (how else can you ride in that kind of position) and QUICK. Scooters are for girlies and stardard bikes are pantra (pangtraysikel).
Recently, I had the pleasure of visiting Belgium and i immediately noticed the difference of their motorcycle culture from our own. Since motorcyclists help in the global warming situation by consuming less fuel, Belgians show their appreciation by letting riders park their bikes in the sidewalks for convenience. Special lanes are also provided for small displacement bikes. Riders return the favor by giving priority to pedestrians and by riding like civilized persons. All of them wore helmets and most riders i saw were wearing full leathers or some form acceptable riding gear so that in the event of a spill, some poor guy wont have to clean up the mess on the pavement. I guess the formula is simple. Ride like a human being and you'll treated like one.

A rider's playground....MaRiLaQue revisited

According to my psychologist wife (no, I'm not a former patient), I'm probably a P (perceiving) as indicated by the MBTI (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator). This means i tend to be spontaneous when it comes to my day to day activities. That's why most of my long rides were unplanned. My first ride to marilaque (twisty road connecting Manila to Rizal, Laguna and Quezon provinces) is a good example. I just read about this biker's paradise road in a local magazine and on impulse, i grabbed the keys, hopped on my 150cc scoot and rode towards the hills. It didn't occurred to me to bring some rain gear in case of the occasional drizzle usually encountered in high altitude roads. My ride has a huge under seat compartment anyway. So, i got wet and air dried, and wet again, and air dried again a few times before i reached the Sierra Madre resort. I failed to do the standard safety inspection and the scoot's muffler assembly fell apart on my ride downhill. I forgot to bring a camera with me so i have nothing to show for the whole experience except for the limp Sierra Madre resort brochure. On my second time, i took my wife with me on my Honda XRM 125. The ride was awesome and nothing went wrong this time because somebody was doing the planning for me and the "H" brand is so much more reliable. The third time was supposed to be a ride to the beach of Infanta, Quezon province with my kid brother.
After my brother took ownership of my XRM, i was cleared by my wife to get the Yamaha YBR 125G that I've been lusting for. To get acquainted with the manual clutch transmission, i rode it around the community park for two weeks before i thought about a break-in ride. I received my plate six weeks ahead of schedule(my dealer told me that it'll take two months before i get my plate since it is a new bike model in the country). My ride already street legal, i thought it was time for my new bike to flex its muscles. Naturally, the beach would be the ideal destination of a summertime ride. There's Batangas in the south, but the recent news of a shark attack in that area made look for other beaches on the map. Ive always wanted to ride far north to Pagudpud beach of Ilocos Norte, have my picture taken underneath the giant wind mills of Bangui but riding to the north end of Luzon on a break-in(60 kph and below) bike might take me a few days back and forth. Id like to ride out in the morning and be back in time for dinner. I dragged my finger to the right and there's Infanta. According to on line reviews, its going to be a twisty mountain route to the Pacific ocean. Great! Except that i happen to know that Quezon province is infested with communist rebels. I imagined myself staring down the barrel of an AK-47: "hey, i like communists. In fact, i have a brother who studies in U.P. (more than five years in the University of the Philippines will probably make a communist out of a you) ". I haven't actually seen him raise his left fist during a flag ceremony but i asked him to ride with me anyway. Its better than riding alone on an unfamiliar bike in an unfamiliar area.
He rolled in the drive way the night before, revving the XRM's 125cc engine before dismounting to give a macho impression on the neighbors. We took off late the next morning because i had to give my wife a ride to the office first. My brother kept complaining that he'll be late for his night class (on a Friday night? Yeah, right!) so we agreed to ride to a closer destination. We took the Antipolo route going to Sierra Madre resort. The great view, the twisty road, and the bright sun made us thirsty and we decided to make a pitstop in a coconut (buko) shack along the road. Not only a good thirst quencher, coconut juice is also good in cleansing the urinary tract. At eight pesos a piece(its normally sold at eighteen pesos by vendors in the city or eighty pesos in restaurants), its a steal. The vendor just chops the top off then stick a straw in it and your ready to sip your UTI(urinary tract infection) problems away. We didnt even bother to put the bike on center stand when we reached the resort because we immediately raced to the bathroom to empty our bladder. I was glad they were taking orders that day and ive chosen to sample their "tapang usa" (marinated deer meat or venison is the fancy term i think?) while my brother ordered beef tapa. They were hosting a mormon (i thought it was of a different congregation because i didnt see any name tags) retreat that's why their kitchen was operational. I also had the opportunity to have a picture taken with the most famous mormon in the country, the beauty title holder Melanie Marquez. She paused momentarily when i asked her to have a picture taken with me. I couldnt blame her though, i just came out of my mighty morphin' power rangers riding gear and i probably looked like i was going to ask her for spare change but she graciously posed with me anyway. She is a sight to behold and she also looked natural (unlike the cyborg beauties you see on TV nowadays). We roamed around the vicinity and the serenity of nature relaxed our bowels. We had to take turns because there was no lock on the cubicle door and one has to serve as a look out to save us and an unsuspecting mormon from embarassment.
Of course, no MaRiLaQue ride would be complete without a visit to Mang Vic Bulalo. Bulalo is a native Filipino soup dish and what makes it interesting is that you get to eat the beef bone marrow. It is rumored that Mang Vic uses carabao (water buffalo) meat instead of beef but we couldnt care less if he used horse meat to make his tasty bulalo.

Two-wheeled Elegance

Thanks to my compact and easy to handle scooter, my wife and I made it to her sister’s civil wedding in a nick of time, notwithstanding Monday morning traffic. Except for my used-to-be-starched-white Barong (formal wear native to Filipinos), nobody would suspect that we rode almost 20 kilometers of turmoil just to get there on time. Taking the car was out of the question because driving a manual steering stick shift on Monday morning traffic will have an impact on my 30-year-old joints. I opted for the scooter instead of my rugged off-road inspired motorbike because it seemed more appropriate for our attire and we needed the cargo space (floor board) for the bouquet. We thought that my sis in law’s civil wedding pictures would look much better if she has a bouquet in hand. After the requisite “mother of the bride scene” the not-so-legal-looking judge swore in the couple and then we’re off to Rockwell Center for a mini wedding reception. I asked my wife to ride in her sister’s car going to the classy, high-end mall but to my surprise, she insisted on riding with me on our scoot. In the parking lot, amongst the gigantic SUV’s and the ultra-wide luxury cars, my ride held its own. I guess elegance can also come in small packages.

Monday Morning Nuptials

“Maybe she really doesn’t want us to attend”, I thought to myself while I rode my scoot like a porn star through Ortigas Extention road (a.k.a purgatory if you’re a cab driver). Acceleration drag is just one of the many cons of purchasing a china-made scooter (the only pro being the price) and it usually acts up during stop and go heavy traffic situations. My wife and I were on our way to attend her sister’s civil wedding (no, she wasn’t knocked up) in Makati City Hall, on a Monday morning rush hour, no less. At least she was able to say that those in attendance were people who really care about her. My sister in law and her groom decided to have a civil wedding two months before the actual ceremony for VISA application purposes. So that after the wedding bells, her very eager husband can literally sweep her off her feet and take her to his homeland Belgium without immigration issues. I remember my own wedding about four years ago. It would have been nice to arrive on the venue on a motorbike. Back then I couldn’t even afford a bicycle. I was so broke (because of wedding banquet expenses) that I kept hoping for Ang Pao’s (cash gifts in red envelope) instead of the usual wedding gifts (oven toasters, rice cookers, edible underwear, etc.). Well, I recall taking a tricycle on my way to the cab terminal that day. That counts.

Romance on two wheels....a rush hour love affair

Most of us 9 – 5 to drones hate going to work. It is hard enough to leave your most precious love one to the care of someone who has to multi-task several other chores; it’s more of a challenge to put up with a very frustrated person who wears Barong but would rather wear wings made out of wires and old stockings. And worse, you have to survive the daily chaos to and from work. I can’t take my daughter to the office and I’m not in the position to influence someone else’s sexual orientation but I was able to change the circumstances of my daily commute. I bought a motorcycle.
Actually it was a China-made 150cc scooter. I already had electrical problems during the first week of ownership and the dealer’s mechanic screamed like a schoolgirl when the scoot’s wiring started to burn during troubleshooting. I asked for a money back and bought the most popular bike of the most popular brand in the land, the Honda XRM 125. It became my motivation to get up, dress up and show up for work. I get to ride my bike everyday, twice! Initially, my wife thought of the bike as a “wheeled widow maker” or “rolling mid-life crisis” but my being featured in a local motorcycle magazine added some prestige to my riding. This enticed her to ask me for occasional rides to her office. Then she got tired of long lines and stinky passengers of the Antipolo-Ortigas shuttles and “occasional” became daily. In need of more cargo space, I bought another 150cc scooter and it became an essential tool in beating the “bandy clock”. What cab drivers use to scare their kids into obedience became our dance floor for our everyday waltz to work. The pillion letting the rider lead with every twist and every sway, seeping through tons of moving metal and toxic fumes. This is the ultimate display of trust. Stranded commuters can only look on as we cruise with a song in our heads and smiles on our faces.

Yamaha YBR 125G

Generally speaking, it’s always nice to have something big between the legs. So while my XRM serves me well, I keep having the compulsion to trade it in for a bigger bike.
Like most underbones, the Honda XRM is smaller than the standard motorcycle. It is a descendant of the Honda Super Cub, which was hailed by Discovery Channel as “the greatest motorbike of all time” because of its durability, efficiency, and total unit sales. With its unimposing size and design, the Honda Cub became the motorbike for non-bikers. The XRM, however, has a sporty design that is intended for both on-road and off-road use. It is truly an eye candy with its rugged but elegant design except when there’s a 5’11” 185 pound rider on top.
Contrary to what the magazines say, motorcycling is not about convenience or fuel efficiency but about vanity. No amount of expensive riding accessories can hide the fact that I am too big for my bike. Riding a tiny scoot looks cute while riding a little cub is plain awkward (I normally have to assume a kama sutra position to reach the shifter). Since no dealer in the country offers trade-ins for underbones, I only have two options: sell it at half-price or sell it on installments to get the full value. But when my brother expressed his “good intentions” for my XRM in replacement of his China-made “vibra bike” (maybe he’s getting tired of the tingling sensation with every twist of the throttle. I bet he can make a fortune if he tries to sell it in a convent), I couldn’t agree right away. I’ve always been a scooter guy for practical reasons but the XRM got me started into riding for pleasure. The bike also got me featured in a local motorbike magazine. I was bent on keeping it forever but Yamaha made things more complicated. I had to pull over when I first saw the YBR 125G in Antipolo. It has everything I wanted in a bike and it’s even in a motard set-up (I fancy myself as an adventurer). It is equipped with a tachometer to help novice riders like me to operate the manual-clutched, 5-speed 125cc engine. Because of its sporty styling, the muffler (and sparkplug) is slightly raised so you can ride confidently through flooded streets during rainy season. I simply must have it.
First, I have to secure the funding for the new bike. This time, I was the one to approach my brother. He’d be happy to buy the XRM on installments but he has to wait until the following month for the renewal of his contract as a part-time collector to be sure that he can afford the payments. Great! Patience is really not one of my virtues.
Second, get the approval of the commander in chief. I had to explain my plans to my wife very carefully. Otherwise, I will become a real traveler/adventurer because I’ll get kicked out of the house. I was already on shaky ground when i decided to keep the XRM after taking home a 150 cc scoot. When I took her to see the YBR personally she gave me a “what the hell are you waiting for?” (Or “in your dreams, pal”) look. She said yes as long as I sell the XRM first. So now, I have to wait and let destiny take its course. I just hope Yamaha wont take the YBR out of the market like what they did with the X-1.

Ride to Sierra Madre (Marilaque).....one for the road.

Just like having sex, you wouldn't be able to fully appreciate your first marilaque (Manila-Rizal-Laguna-Quezon) highway ride. It will be a feast for your senses and you will be awe-stricken while you process what you just experienced. And like having sex, it is not ideal to do it by yourself.
Since my first marilaque ride was unplanned, it was quick but uneasy (just like sex) because the exhaust system of my China scoot literally fell apart. The nuts (not related to sex) and bolts were shaken loose by the "not so perfect road" in Masinag area. I was so worried with my nuts (yep, sex) as well because the bike's suspension and seat cushion were not doing what they're suppose to (maybe i'll have a great career with the Bee Gees when i get back, if Mr. Pineda can do it....). I even missed the famous "Mang Vic Bulalohan" on my way up. On my ride downhill, i already lost two screws (not sex, quit it).
It only took a brochure from the Sierra Madre resort to convince my wife to ride with me on my second trip to marilaque. We both called in sick to our respective offices and then we suited up as soon as our boss at home took her nap. We used the XRM because i havent had a chance to have the scoot fixed. 10.4 N.M of torque would be enough to take us up to the hills. I deliberately took the Antipolo route (via Ortigas extention) so we can stop by the Yamaha store to let her have a look at the new Yamaha YBR 125G. Ive been infatuated with the bike ever since it came out and the only way i can have it without losing an arm is to sell my XRM first. I suddenly realized that the marilaque trip might be my last long ride on my beloved Ubone.
Our next stop was Mang Vic Bulaluhan. We thought that we were getting too adventurous in the risk of getting Hepa B but the smell of Bulalo was too hard to resist. After we shared a bowl cholesterol, my wife asked for the ladies room. I had to advise her against using the toilet because after i did, i felt like i need ten years of psychotherapy to get the images out of my head. We enjoyed the ride upill so much that we felt like young lovers again. I should have been worried for any bike problem because the place is almost uninhabited but the winged logo on my little ubone gave me confidence. The usual destination for a marilaque ride is the Sierra Madre resort. My wife attemted to inquire about their wedding reception packages for her sister but the Ogie Alcasid look-a-like attendant was not very accomodating. You can expect better service from a SOGO motel (based on what my friends told me, of course). Atleast, they let us roam around the place to take some pictures. The ride downhill was equally enjoyable, with the glimmering view of Laguna Bay on the left, and the Sierra Madre mountain range on the right. If you really think about it (or if you're as green minded as i am), the marilaque ride is really like having sex. The ups and downs, lots of twisting involved and it pays to have a video recorder. Dont forget to wear protection, i mean, protective gear.